Living life in a positive perspective

I don't always have an idea of what I'm going to write about when I open this blog, but when I stop and think about all that my life holds, I am reminded of just how blessed my life is. 
Recently work has been "tough" for me. I have been challenged in way's that have been like blows to the face.  Then there's always that thing called money that tends to make life even more stressful.  To be honest, I don't make much at my job, but I am reminded by my husband who so patiently reminds me daily that we are "okay, God always provides and that his seasonal position at CalFire will resume before we know it."

But i've decided to post about how I "feel" simply because over the past four months my husband and I have been challenged in many things.  My job having it's highs and lows (which I won't go into detail about), and me dealing with those highs and lows with my husband being gone almost the whole summer fighting fires has made us realize just how valuable time together is. Time fellowshipping, our families and friendships, simply time spent at home, our adorable dog that thinks she's human, and our youth kids that we have the privilege of working with.

So as I sit here and write about the last four months that I found to be challenging, yet so rewarding, I can't help but smile thinking about how boring life would be if there were no challenges or hiccups in life.  I'm also learning how stressing over material things like money or starting to think about a budget for christmas gifts or how much to spend on my next grocery shopping trip is nothing compared to God's grace and provisions.  Do we need money to live this life? Well yes, duh that's a no brainer question, BUT to allow that to dictate what kind of mood I'm going to be in or allow my day to become stressed over that is just ridiculous.

Material things are temporary.  Life is temporary, but the grace that God gives us daily, the provisions that He gives, His love and everlasting salvation is a gift that I too often take for granted and forget about.  In Him, my needs are met and my life is blessed. I am married to a man that I just adore and who cares for me more than anything in this world, I have family that is definitely the best fambam in the world, and a home that is adorable and cozy!

So I guess all my rambling is simply about being grateful for what is, and all that I have.  Stressing over things won't fix or change a situation, but trusting and walking in God's will and grace can.  Believe and He will grant you the strength, energy and courage to overcome whatever it is that is causing stress.  A couple of verses that reminded me of just how precious God's love is and just how much He cares for me, I hope all who read this find peace and encouragement in this.

Matthew 6:26-34

26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

The Bridge...

16 Day's ago my husband left to go on shift and that has now turned into over two weeks of him being gone.  He was sent out to the Gulch Fire, and then straight up to the King Fire, and is currently still helping to battle these flames. And let me tell you, within the last 16 days, God has been doing big things for us! One of them being The Bridge.....
 It was a sunday that my husband left to go on shift, early as usual.  As I saw him out the door and kissed him goodbye, my mind started having flashbacks to earlier this summer.  Out of no where I began to think about Haiti and the trip we took there just this past July.  As I went back to bed in hopes to get some more sleep, I had this nagging feeling in my heart, that quite honestly I had been pushing aside for the past month.  All I could picture was those beautiful faces, the tiny hands that would reach up with eyes that are full of hope, eagerly awaiting you to acknowledge them and pick them up.  I thought to myself "Really God, now? You want to talk to me about Haiti right now, as I lay all nice and cozy trying to sleep? Ok. Fine."  While my mind continued to race I was reminded of a Non-profit organization that a dear friend of my, Wendy helps out with that provides a way for people to sponsor the children in Carrefour Poy Haiti, and provide a way for them to receive an education as well as a meal.  So, I got out of bed, turned on my laptop and started looking at the website.  I have to be honest, I was very frustrated that I was up at 4:30 AM looking at this stuff and had such a heavy heart to the point where I couldn't sleep.  As I looked in depth at the website and remembered my friend telling me that she would love for me to come on board with her and help out with this organization, if I were interested, I thought to myself "gosh dang it. how are you going to have time for this? You work full-time, rarely see your husband, already have a packed schedule....nope. You're going to do it Ashley. Today at church you are going to march yourself up to Wendy and tell her that you want to help."

So I did. I told Wendy that I couldn't stop thinking about helping with this, and that I had been putting off this nagging feeling for the past month.  Though my schedule is rather tight and I don't have much wiggle room I knew that if I were to just say yes, and listen to what God was putting on my heart, He would bless me with more time. Sounds crazy, I know.  Once I told Wendy this, we both were full of excitement, and agreed to meet that following sunday to go over what I could begin to help out with.

 After meeting with Wendy and going over things that I could help with, my heart became full.  Full knowing that this is exactly where I needed to be.  I've been praying that God would open the doors to something that would keep me busy at home after work while my hubs is away fighting fires.    This is it.  A passion i've had for over two years is now becoming a part of our lives, that heartbeat that is so strong for Haiti is finally becoming something that is real, and present in the Catto home.

 

Now, long story short, I am happy to inform you all that I am currently assisting with The Bridge--reaching to the children of Carrefour Poy Haiti.  I feel so honored to be apart of this and work towards blessing those children with a way to receive an education, a meal and a hope in their beautiful hearts knowing that WE DO CARE. We want to see them succeed, strive to work hard and live a healthy life.  God is good, and I know that He will be doing great things with his sponsorship program.  If any of you are interested in reading about the history of how The Bridge got started and what we're all about, you can visit www.thebridgehaiti.com or email us at thebridgehaiti@gmail.com

Now to Him that is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever.  Amen.

Ephesians 3:20-21

One week in...

One week ago today, our alarm went off at 3:00 AM. The hubs got in the shower as I looked through our refriderator getting out "stuff" to make him a nice breakfast. Time was ticking, and it was getting closer to the time he needed to head out to make the 4 hour drive to his CalFire headquarters and begin his first day as a CalFire employee.
As I helped him load his car and kissed him goodbye I had mixed emotions; excitement, extreme pride in my husband, and then I also felt partly anxious.
What did this mean? CalFire employee? Not many days off? Basically gone for the whole fire season? Ok so this means a big change. But wait, is it really that much of difference from the station he was at that happened to be right up the road from us? Well, kinda I mean he's far away and will be going on more calls than he did at the other station that was pretty slow. But does this give me MORE of a reason to worry? It shouldn't but it did. I worried simply out of my own selfish, negative, uncalled for thoughts.
But this is what got me thinking deeper. As I crawled back into bed to sleep for the little time I had before my alarm would go off for work I was struck with a realization that from this moment on, life as I know it wouldn't be the same. Was this a bad thing? Absolutely NOT! I mean, this is what Kyle and I have been praying for and it happened! But, just because something is a good thing, it doesn't mean that it is an easy thing to do or experience.
My husband won't be coming home for who knows how long. He can be held on shift as long as they want him to be.  As I laid there beginning to freak myself out with thoughts like "oh my gosh, what if he gets sent to a fire and something happens? what if the man that I love more than anyone on this earth is taken from me?" I then corrected my thinking with "Seriously Ashley, come on...this is not the time or place to be thinking so negatively. Are you really going to have these fears when what you've prayed for was answered and given to you? Are you really going to lay here and let thoughts sink in so deep to the point where you get yourself so worked up that's all you can think about?" NO!
So I began to pray "Lord, calm my heart, calm my husbands heart."
I knew at that moment, when I felt an extreme sense of peace, this is Kyle's calling, his passion, a job that God has called him to; and if God has called me to be his wife, I am also called to be strong, supportive, positive, encouraging but most of all confident in the fact that Christ knows our hearts, our fears, our desires.... And no matter what happens, there is nothing I can do to change the reality of a "change" in life. God tells us to "entrust our loved ones to Him" How can He possibly show us His plan and will for our lives when we are trying so hard to keep a firm grasp on something that we have no control over!? HE CAN'T.
So this is what led me to think even MORE!
The day I married this amazing, loving, selfless, kind, genuine, good looking, God fearing man...I married change. I married someone that I promised to commit my life to, to love and support, but most of all...live life side by side embracing change with him. I married a firefighter. This means that holidays, birthday's, anniversaries, or planned events aren't always going to happen on those specific days. This means that life will be calm one moment and possibly completely hectic the next. This means that depending on what he experiences on one of his shifts could bring change to our relationship.
Needless to say, that morning I restlessly laid there, I made the decision to be strong, to not think negatively, to be positive and do my best to be that encouraging wife my husband NEEDS me to be. He doesn't like being away from me just as much as I don't like him being gone. He has to face things that most people can't even handle thinking about, he has to watch death, smell death, work hard and not stop until the fire is out. He has to sacrifice his life every time he responds to that call. I know that's not easy for him. Does he complain? nope. Does he ever talk about how hard the job is or how nasty a call was? nope. He is humble, and passionate about what he does. So what gives me license to be the negative one? Absolutely nothing. I have no ground to think such things and let it affect my attitude so much to the point where I am failing at my job to be that supportive, encouraging wife he needs me to be.
So this is what made me realize that in order for me to fulfill my job as a wife, I need to embrace any change and appreciate it for what it is. Life is short, and we don't know what the future holds, so instead of thinking about all the bad things that COULD happen, think about the good and be thankful for the time we do have. Change is inevitable, life is simply sand slipping through our fingers... all of it is in the hands of God.
So as I sit here and write out these thoughts, I am happy to realize that Kyle and I have made it one week so far of him being gone. As of right now, we don't know when his next day off will be, or what station he will be shuffled to next. But I do know that change is a beautiful thing, and I can tell you right now, my marriage is stronger than it was yesterday, or last monday when I was laying in bed worrying about the negative things life could possibly bring our way.

God is good all the time, and this is His plan for our life. In that I find peace in God, as an anchor for our souls, knowing that everyday something will be different. Something will challenge me to be better, make a different decision....Now it's up to me to handle that in the best way I possibly can.
When I see Kyle's awards from his academies he's gone through, his badge, his uniform or his dirty boots, I am reminded that I am blessed to be married to a man that has worked hard to get where he's at. Worked hard to provide for us and make a good living so we can start a family someday. I am blessed to be married to a man that adores me and wants to live everyday of life that we have together.

What more could I ask for? Not much. I really can't complain or worry because my husband is healthy, he's alive, he has a job he loves, and a heart for me.
Here's to making a conscience effort to be strong, supportive, encouraging, and appreciative of "change" on a daily basis.

Why Haiti?

Just this last week, my husband and I had the privilege of taking our youth kids from our church to Haiti for a missions trip.  Along with us we had our youth pastor, and a few other leaders to help us out!

I have been once before and fell in love with it immediately!  The other 17 people in our group had never been, didn't know what to expect, didn't know just how bad it would smell, or how heartbreaking it would be to experience what daily lives as a haitian is like.  And might I add, I really didn't get this raw of an experience the first time I went.

As soon as we landed in the Port-Au-Prince airport the humidity, heat, and smell of Haiti hits you like a brick wall! You are instantly sweating, sticky, and most of all shocked at the amount of garbage, burning garbage, pollution, dirty water and people that surround you. Now, keep in mind this is just the "lovely" greeting that haiti provides for you!  Pastor Gilbert, who runs a sister church of our church there in haiti, waited for our arrival! He also had a couple friends with him to help pick up our luggage, and all 19 of us! Haiti has what's called a TapTap--our version of a taxi. Only this one is a little more unique, you fit about as many people as you can in the back of a pick-up truck and go! No seat belts, no need to be comfortable, just go! Driving through Port-Au-Prince (PAP), you really got to see how people live. Between watching people of all ages dig through trash on the side of the road for food, animals that are clearly diseased running around everywhere, chickens hanging off the side of a TapTap that are 100% alive, Hogs tied to the top of a truck, people running in and through traffic, no organized driving, big huge Mac trucks that come up so close to your TapTap you feel like you're going to die, and no road signs, stop signs or lights...you really get a feel for Haiti and all its glory!

Once we arrived to the orphanage that we would be staying at for the week, we all were shocked at the difference of being within the gates of the orphanage and out where all the "crazy stuff" is. Our mission this week was to visit four different sights and do Vacation Bible Schools (VBS), feed the kids and tell them about the love of our Lord Jesus Christ.  This meant going out of the secured walls of the orphanage, into the chaos and reaching out to strangers.  Now, when I went to Haiti the first time a couple years ago, I stayed at an orphanage that had secured walls, a 24-hour guard that walked around with a loaded shotgun and got to work with the same people everyday, so I really didn't know what to expect!
So this experience was a little nerve wracking, and exciting for all of us!

Starting Monday we did our first VBS and it was a complete success! We were able to feed all the kids a whole sandwich and give them a drink.  This was a HUGE deal for them! All of these children are starving, or if they aren't starving they get maybe one meal a day. Towards the end of handing out the food, a little Girl maybe 4 years old holding her food and drink looked up to me and said "you...you....you have!" She kept pointing to my tummy and then her food and tried to get me to take hers.  As a large lump sat in my throat and tears came to my eyes I knelt down and told her "thats for you! You eat it!" Her whole face lit up!  I was humbled by a 4 year old! She already has nothing, clearly dehydrated and hungry, yet she was more concerned about me eating.

The rest of the week was a complete success! 1,000 sandwiches, 200 cheese crackers and 4 successful VBS's later, all of us were worn out, hot, happy, but also very heartbroken.  We watched children dig through trash and eat it, we had mothers trying to give us their babies because they know that they can't give them the health, or nutrition they need to live a healthy life, we witnessed fights break out between kids over a sandwich, we held children who don't get held, we shared the love of our Savior and gave hope to those who are hopeless.
So, why Haiti? Because in this poverty stricken, 3rd-world country there is beauty. Within this country there is hope, laughter, and love.  These people have to work, fight, sweat, be uncomfortable just to live.  But by us going, sharing the love of Jesus and showing them compassion, they have hope.  Hope knowing that their body is only temporary, their pain is only temporary, their hunger is only temporary, their sickness is only temporary.  What a humbling experience and reality it was to be able to share that hope with those who have nothing. Being able to give them something more than they will ever have leaves you feeling blessed.

Now, does going to Haiti give you a sense of guilt? absolutely. Should we feel this way? NO! why? Because God places each and every individual in the places that they are for a reason. I didn't ask to be born in the US, that's just where God choose for me to live, those innocent haitian babies didn't ask to be born into a 3rd-world country, that's just where God choose for them to live. Does this mean that we should be guilt ridden because we have everything we could possibly need or think of easily accessible and the haitians don't? NO! God has a plan and purpose for all things.  Us Americans are blessed with pretty much everything we could think of, we are blessed with the means to be able to GO and SHARE the love of Jesus with those who have nothing.  In turn, by going there we are BLESSED by those who have nothing. Is this an easy thing to realize and feel "okay" with? no, in fact as I'm sitting here in this Air-Conditioned room writing, the lump in my throat has come back. I hate that I can't do more for those people, but I am satisfied knowing that what our team did, gave them more than any american thing, dollar, or food will give them.  Which is love of Jesus.

Haiti, the place that has trash everywhere, burns garbage everywhere, drives vehicles that make you gag from the fumes, rives that are filled with trash, a slum, water that smells and is like poison to your body, food that makes you wonder what you're really eating after seeing what their animals eat, animals that wander around that look like the one's you would see on an ASPCA commercial, naked kids running around with bellies that protrude out due to parasites, kids that look worse than the ones you see on the 3rd-world country commercials, the place that has NOTHING...is BEAUTIFUL.
Believe me Haiti isn't beautiful to the eye, its beautiful to the soul.  I am overwhelmed and honored that our team was able to have this experience and see a small glimpse of what it's like to live in Haiti.
This place will teach you a lot about yourself, what you have and what you complain about.  It's left my heart with a small flutter that is anxious to go back, to get another small glimpse of life in Haiti and to give hope to the hopeless.

Handsome lives in my home...

For the past two day's my husband Kyle has been on shift.  And to anyone who reads this who is a wife to a firefighter, you will understand just what that sentence "he just left to go on shift" really means.  Though I know that this is where Christ has called him, and I know that he absolutely loves his work, I can't help but get that lump in my throat every time he leaves...that lump that is full of worries, fear that something tragic could happen.  Well, I had a reality check.
Handsome lives at my home. Handsome being my husband, Kyle Catto.

  A firefighter eager to get up and go to work. His days are full of listening and following orders. He has to supervise, advise and meet deadlines.  He spends his hours of the day on someone elses clock. He gives every single ounce of himself physically and mentally to provide for us.  He is constantly training to be a better firefighter.  He puts sleepless hours into serving our community.  He has only a few moments to himself, but I don't ever see him sitting down doing what HE wants to do when he wants to do it, instead he fills his extra time serving our church family, serving with the youth group we help with on Sunday nights, doing odds and ends around our house, always giving his last moments to help OTHERS.  My hubs is a HUNK! And when I think about all of this, I think "I could really care less about him having perfect hair, chiseled abs, the perfect and right amount of scruff growing on his face, what size his arms are"...although I must admit...he does come pretty darn close to having the best of all those things. ;p But that isn't what constantly wins my heart or my affection.  Handsom, Well, "Handsome" lives at home...with me.
Real handsome looks like the arms that come home exhausted yet openly accepts to hold and listen to his wife for hours on end.
Real handsome looks like the endless sacrifices he makes so willingly for his community because he wants to provide for us.
Real handsome ins't some cocky firefighter, real handsome is the quiet spirit that faces fears with faith and confidence.
Real handsome is the man that comes home after shift and starts doing the dishes without my asking.
Real handsome is my husband, the man that never takes for granted the hearts he holds so closely.
Real handsome is my firefighter that comes home with dirty boots, smelly clothes and a heart that is full of God's grace and love. A heart ready to serve and love his family.
I will remember this important truth that "real handsome" is not hollywoods definition. Real handsome is my husband that wipes tears, faces fears in faith, sacrifices for his family and serves a God of love and mercy. A man that holds tightly to the will of God, the man that chooses to lead me daily.
And with all that said, as my very first blog...I want to encourage all you wives out there that by allowing your husband to lead you and guide you the way that the Lord would have him to do, your life will be such a beautiful, full, and amazing journey.
I am blessed to be able to see life as a Catto.